Day 26 - A person of someone who means a lot to you

This one is really hard for me. I understand that is pretty strange. Of course there are the obvious answers -- my husband, my children, my mom, sisters, brothers...but those have all already been answered and blogged about. Maybe I'm getting tired of this little "day picture challenge" (there are 30 days in total, so I'm on the final stretch)...or maybe it's because so many people mean so much. I'm going to roll with this one:

Yup, that's me.

Now before you go and think I'm all self-absorbed, let me explain. This picture means the world to me. I remember EXACTLY what I was thinking at the time. Justin and I were forging a relationship when the world was against it. We went up north, just us two, to a place where my family always felt the closest. Our cabin. While we were there, amongst the laughter and love, we had the greatest long and serious talks. I remember bawling and telling him of things in my past that I wish I could forget and begging him to not let it change his vision of me. I remember him breaking down telling me of the visions in his head of the war he has fought and the lives he has seen leave this world. I remember us both sharing our dreams about the future, where we wanted our relationship to go, who we wanted to be (together and separately.) I remember feeling incredibly real and tortuously vulnerable, but feeling like we were in a bubble and that he made me feel safe. I wanted him to know everything about me and I wanted to know everything about him. More than that, I wanted us to be our truest, most authentic selves, and I really wished that we could figure out how to do that -- together. I think that was when I really fell in love with Justin. We went on a quad ride later that day, and stopped at this wishing fountain. I can promise you, my wish is continuously coming true.

This picture reminds me of how far I've come.

I do love my life. I love that I love hard and fall fast. It makes for a lot of pain in my world, however. Once you have made it into my heart (not always the easiest,) I don't forget you. It's happened to me time and time again...paths separate and lives lead totally different directions...but, I don't wanna let you go. And, I usually don't. It makes sense to me that I am still friends with all of my ex's...and am always the friend to remember birthdays and such...because they every person, every event...is etched in my heart, to stay. What therapy has taught me is that it is okay to love like I love as long as I am willing to long like I long and sometimes feel betrayed or hurt by people who don't do things like I do. What time has taught me is that there isn't a damn thing I can do about it. I am me. It's in the air I breath and the blood that pumps in my veins.

I've always been a confident person. I know that I am not the prettiest, smartest, skinniest, bravest, truest, funniest, etc. person but I rank pretty high in all categories. :) What's important for the adult me to remember is that I have to face the "man in the mirror" and the God I believe will welcome my spirit one day and they deserve to be respected and honored. The people who I choose to surround me better lift me up and hope for the same in return. The people around me better guide me and nurture me without condemnation or duty because I want to do that for them. The people around me better love me and like me for they have already busted the walls down and are in my heart forever. The people around me better love themselves and be confident in who they are and when they are down, they better trust me when I say how beautiful they are. WE are worth it.

The people that I chose to be in my life....are my life. So when I see that person in the picture above, I know I was wishing that I'd find a life a worth. People of substance. Love to sustain. And, I prayed that I would be the woman that I am today...

So yes....that person is me. And *I* mean a lot to me.

My brother always tells me that "we are the best of the best." And, by damn, who am I to disagree?