Justin. We're not trying to be "perfect"....just trying to "be."

HAPPY ST. PATRICK'S DAY!!!

I am not entirely sure why I love March 17 so very much. Sure, I'm of Irish heritage (have the tattoos to prove it!)-- and sure I enjoy green beer perhaps more than most -- but for some reason, it's bigger than that. It's spring time...and people seem to be happier. People emerge from their homes and their jobs ready to laugh. And I love unabridged laughter. This year, March Madness begins as well (I picked Ohio St.,) which I LOVE (I just hope my Cats show up).

I'm off work today (and tomorrow)....today, I need to clean this house, do the laundry and finish my taxes (which I am waiting to hear from Sunshine. In one of his lucid nice moments he had mentioned maybe letting me claim both the boys -- instead of the agreement of just one -- since he didn't work all last year...I haven't heard since though. Side note: is it even legal to claim your children on taxes when you didn't WORK and are WAY BEHIND on child support? ....anyway) I hope I am productive this morning, cause I plan on celebrating later tonight...and laughing...laughing a lot.

March 14 -- sigh.

I wonder if this day will ever pass without me thinking about my wedding day - without me thinking about Joel. 13 years ago today, I married the love of my life. It was a glorious day full of all the people we loved the most. It was a day that culminated the four years we had traveled together and held the promise of a bright future. It was the single happiest day of my life.

-- 13 years ago today.

Clearly, I am no longer in such a love trance and so much time has passed us by. Since that day we moved back to Arizona, had 2 kids, 4 dogs, several houses and got a divorce. We are certainly not the people we were back then. He's gone on to remarry and I've found my own voice again. We don't even get along on most days. Yet, on this date -- March 14 -- I can't help but remember the man that once was my everything and feel a twinge of sadness in the way things turned out. Because of him, I have two beautiful children. Because of him, I know that real love is possible. Because of him, I can't help but think about 13 years ago today.

My beautiful baby boy is 8 years old today and I am the happiest I've been in years...

EIGHT?

Gosh, that makes me.....36.

When did that happen!?!?

Today is a really wonderful day. I woke up to Cole coming into my room at 5:00am (this is my sleepy kid -- NEVER an early riser, either.) We got to lay there and cuddle. I sang him "Happy Birthday" and got tears in my eyes as I told him the story about his first breaths of life in "my world."

Eight years ago today.

It was a terrifying day, really. My pregnancy was riddled with problems. He had a problem with his heart -- they told me had chromosome abnormalities. We had NO IDEA what we were facing when his beautiful face and sweet cry blessed our lives. I will never forget the partnership that had formed with Mr. Sunshine and I, either. The bond of a child is never ending (even when you wish it could be.) But it is what it is...and my beautiful Cole Daniel is EIGHT years old today.

The boys went to school for only half a day -- teacher conferences were today. Mr. Sunshine took Cole out to sushi right after school (his favorite). Dane and I ran out and did some shopping. When he got home, he hugged me long and hard. I waved to Joel and said, "can you believe it's been eight years?" I forget sometimes that Mr. Sunshine's sun has faded and he's gone mute. OH WELL, I shut the door, kissed his stinky sushi filled-boy cheeks and Dane and Cole ran out to jump on the trampoline.

Soon after, they stripped to their boxers...(it's March 10th -- in AZ -- almost 90 degrees) and I pulled out the hose and football. Fun for hours!! (and cheap!)

Tonight we are going to Peter Piper Pizza with the family.
Tomorrow, he is having friends from school spend the night.
For the rest of my days, I will love every morsel on that child's body -- come what may....

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOBO!