School is about to start again...

As usual, the anxiety is starting to sneak in.  What is different about this year? Both boys will be going to new schools.  I am unsure of just about everything.  They seem excited, so I'm trying to be the best mamabear and roll with it.  My oldest will be riding the school bus...and I will be leaving for work before that...so he will be responsible to get to the bus on time (that is after the dogs are out and the house is locked up.)  I fear the bus...mostly because I was a "mean girl" and I know what happens on those buses...Karma is a bitch -- but especially scary when I'm afraid it will unleash it's fury on my beautiful, kind, tender 12 year old. 

This morning I was listening to music and a Kenny Chesney song came on about living your life different.  "People say they'd never change a thing....Oh, but I would!"   And, I thought to myself...would I change anything and what would it be?  It's no lie that I'm finally in a very happy place.  I absolutely love my life -- I love who I am, the job that I do and the friends I surround myself with.  I have two gorgeous and healthy children, a husband who adores me and money in the bank.  So, in so many ways, would I change the things I have done that ultimately got me where I am today? 

The quick answer is "no."

I wouldn't want the course of my life to change much simply because I am where I am today.  I don't regret any of the stepping stones...However...with that said, there are things that I wish I would have done differently.  I should have been more kind.  There are two specific times when I remember that I was mean...just to be mean.  Why?  I suppose looking back it may be because I craved the attention -- needed to feel power when I really felt weak, etc...but it was just plain mean.  I've since apologized to one of the people I was mean to....she acted like it was no big deal.  We had become friends again but I still felt like I needed to say something to her.  It didn't really make me feel better -- but I do think it made her realize that I do have sorrow for the hurt I caused her...I'd like to think that helped, but maybe it didn't...and that's okay too. 

I don't know...I guess the moral of this rambling is that we just need to be kind to each other.  There are so many times when biting my lip has rewarded me.  It's a lesson I'd love to teach my children.  Do NOT bully -- stand up for the lil guy...  respect each other...use words instead of fists...  JUST BE KIND....and if not...well....send them to me...I've already blown it.  :)