A lot of things shock me in this world...

...perhaps it is because I am naive, but I'd like to believe it's because I have an innate nature that truly wants to think that people are truly kind at the core. Afterall, everyone wants the same thing and that is to be happy and not to suffer, right? I do not understand even remotely how diving planes full of hundreds of people into buildings of thousands of people that hurts millions, if not billions, of lives in the name of "religion" can strengthen your cause or make people see things "your way." That is an easy and extreme example, of course, but shocking never the less. Just the other day, I was flipping through the channels on TV and stopped on "Bambi." I don't really remember the movie, other than the disasturous ending (such a great idea for a kid's movie -- insert sarcasm) and I noticed that Bambi is a MALE?! I mean, really!? Why then does the name "Bambi" conjure up an aroma of damp booze, stale mold, cheap perfume, dirty money and a metal pole? Shocking, right!?

Yes, day to day, I am shocked. Mostly, however, it's on a smaller, uh bigger, albeit, different scale.

Human nature.

How do relationships work and fail?
How do people change so drastically or, flip that, how can some people stay the same (*shutter*)?
How does one person find out she has terminal cancer and praise God in laughter for the life she's living and one person tries to take his own life stating that his car broke down, his girlfriend was late and his Mom "just doesn't understand" (simply because she tried to cheer him up.)?
How can people call themselves your friend and then run for the hills, snickering and gossiping along the way, at the first sign of strife?
How can people claim they have religion in their heart, yet turn their back in condemnation, roll their eyes in judgement and feel superior over somebody else?

I'm sure I've been shocked many times in my life -- but I've never noticed it so much since 2007. My divorce. My dad's death. My loss of house, job, money, friends. My mental breakdown. I'd like to attribute it to a personal growth. But I really think it was more of starting over at rock bottom.

Imagine if you will being at the top of a very very tall mountain -- above the clouds. You can see clearly for miles and the air is crisp...You are aware that people know you are up there and you feel that they all want to be by your side. But only you know that you were just placed there by a helicopter....very cool, but you really haven't done a thing to get there. The admiration of many is really a farce in your eyes. It's lonely and you feel like a fake. You know there is a beautiful town that lies below, a warm community, lively artwork and colors, laughter but you can't see past the clouds. You *want* to be below and see below but it's far too scary to climb down. You are going to have to wait to be rescued -- or you will have to fall.

Then change the scenario...you're at the bottom of the same mountain, embracing and living in the world that envelopes you. You know every bit of what got you there....it's your life, your story. There is love and laughter in a quaint town and happy home. You have this fantastic view of this incredible mountain that you treasure. You can see the top, see the clouds scattered in the sky but have no desire to make the climb. "That's for someone else...some other time." You love your life where you are...prime real estate.

**SNAP! Just was in an intense metaphoric daydream!**

Try to keep up, or don't....but it made perfect sense to me....

SHOCKING!