"Bully"

Dane asked me to sign a permission slip so that he could participate in watching a PG-13 documentary in his Connections class on bullying.

As any good parent (who is off of work, out of school and has the time) would do, I thought to myself:   "Self, you should watch that film so you can engage your 7th grader in further conversation and aide in his growth." 

....sorta.

Truth is, I was having cocktails in the pool with some dear girlfriends this past weekend when one of them (who will remain unnamed but is notably one of the best teachers/coaches/mentors that I know) mentioned the topic of bullying.  She has said that she was having difficulty receiving buy in from her other junior high teachers to try and help build the movement against bullying.  I was really sad at this news.  We all know that it happens everyday.  My children have seemingly escaped the wrath of school bullying thus far -- but my interest in bullying is still a personal one and the timing of Dane's permission slip made the hairs on my arms perk up and take notice.

See, I was a mean, mean, kid.

I don't know why I did it.  Looking back, it wasn't that I really thought that I was better than anyone else or that I really wanted anyone to suffer.  I think, perhaps more than anything, I did it because I was succumbing to peer pressure.  In one case, I turned on a lifelong friend and did/said horrible things.  In that case, I'm certain I was jealous.  Either way -- I am sure that I hurt people deeply and worry that those kind of scars never truly will heal.  I was young, and dumb, but didn't want that to be used as an excuse.  In my adult years, I reached out to a couple of the people I was less than kind to (facebook is awesome) and apologized.  I had to put my uneasiness at rest.  I don't know if I helped them at all -- or if they ever even thought about it -- but it did ease my mind a bit.

Either way, my personal history has allowed me to have a very open dialogue with my children about bullying.  I feel like we have talked about what to do if people are mean to them.  You can stand up for yourself, tell a grown up or if push comes to shove, SHOVE HARDER.  (yes, I give them permission.) We've also discussed the importance for sticking up for the small guy.  Well, this movie will allow that conversation to grow.  Thing is, people, there are so many different kinds of bullying.  This documentary specifically discusses the life of 5 children in all aspects of bullying.  There is the quiet kid that just takes it, the gay young woman who is determined to change the world, one girl who fought back -- with her mother's handgun -- to bullies on the school bus winding herself up in juvenile detention and  two children that tragically ended their lives because of it (one by hanging himself and one by shooting himself.)  Further, it talks about the kids that were doing it to them, the grown ups that turned away from it or just didn't know, and the law that pretended the problem wasn't there.  These kids were not only being teased, poked, choked or prodded by their peers, but then the system let them down and parent went blind.

I am so super happy that Dane will be watching Bully.  I decided to email his teachers and his principal:

Hello!  I signed Dane's permission slip to watch the documentary, "Bully,"  this morning for his 7th grade connections class.  I decided that I should watch it, as well, to help facilitate the conversation on the home front.  WOW!  I would like to take the time to say THANK YOU for giving our children the opportunity to watch such a powerful film.  I have a good relationship with my son and have discussed bullying in depth (mostly cause I was a mean, mean kid.  Ugh.) I am certain that this movie will strike a chord with him and with his classmates.  You have no idea who you could be protecting -- or better yet -- who's life you may be saving by putting this topic out there for discussion and awareness.

Often our teachers aren't given the props they deserve, so I wanted to say THANK YOU for taking the initiative to stand up to bullying. 

I'm guessing no one will really care -- maybe this is merely the time when the end of the school year is near and the teachers are screaming for a movie day so they can breathe.  Either way, The Bully Project and it's movement are worthy of our attention and praise.  Children NEED to see it -- families NEED to discuss it -- and schools NEED to be proactive.

Therefore, I applaud my boy's school. 
Stand for The Silent.